Nudes: policing the female body
Parallels between existing as a woman in France and Mauritius through the male, authoritarian gaze.
TW: victim-blaming, rape, violence against women, non-consensual relationships
In a now deleted tweet, the French National Police (Police Nationale) attempted a flimsy Sexting PSA two days before International Woman’s Day.
The tweet: “Sending a nude means that you accept the risk that it can be shared”.
The image: “He has received your nude. So did your friends, your parents, your classmates, your cousins, your teachers, your neighbours, your baker, your ex boyfriend, your postman, your grandparents, your niece…”
In France, only 8% of women who are raped by men file a police complaint. That’s why I cannot feign surprise when these victim-blaming tweets are written, validated and published by official authorities. How can we seek help and protection from those who think that we were “looking for it” in the first place? Saying that sending nudes is akin to accepting that they will be shared is like saying wearing short skirts is accepting the risk of being tailed, harassed and raped.
We are in 2021: it’s time to shift the narrative, the focus and the subject.
Nearly three weeks after this disappointing tweet, nudes came back to the forefront of my feed. A network of Mauritian men have been stealthily exchanging stolen nudes on Telegram and Reddit. Some of these men are married, are fathers, are uncles and are brothers.
These men have been swapping and sharing intimate pictures of women and girls, some of them underage, without their consent.
These men have been disseminating images, meant for a specific pair of eyes, to predatory trolls, whose sense of self loathing is so immense that they can only exist by debasing women.
These men have been lurking on those groups, watching their peers engage in criminal voyeurism in complete, complicit silence.
It is triggering. I’m getting flashbacks from my teenage years, where boys got a hold of my number and proceeded to harass me for days on end until my parents intervened. I remember that one guy who, vexed because I did not want to pursue my relationship with him, went on to brag to his posse that I was a slut who loved blowing him (not that it matters, but we were both virgins at that time). The catcalling, the groping, the carving of phone numbers and sexist characterisations on the back of school bus seats, the street harassment, the nude sharing - Mauritian Misogyny is a Multi-headed Monster, its roots running deep and long.
It is insidious, because it stops women and girls from understanding and exploring their bodies. This constant policing of the contours of our selves by male, punitive eyes, be it in Mauritius or in France or elsewhere, force women to give up on their sexuality and sensuality because the stakes are too high. Shame is a sentiment that has been instilled into women from day 1 of our gendered socialisation process. However, we are human and sexual beings, and the expression of our desires in whichever way or form is not shameful.
I am not hopeful, especially since I have no faith in the police and its institutions. I also do not believe that incarceration will help change minds, nor will it break the mental chains of patriarchy.
However, I am feeling a sense of retribution for my teenage self who was reduced to silence and shame by her male counterparts. I am sending my strength to all the girls and women who have been robbed of their intimacy. You have the right to own your body is whichever way or form, in the privacy of your room or within the confines of a private conversation; you are valid in the expression of your sexuality and your sensuality; you are enough.
Further reading:
Ouf, Sabrina, I do not only hear you, but I feel you as well. I grew increasingly anxious as the posts about the nudes overflowing my feed since the start of the week. Indeed, how can we be hopeful when the patriarchy still prevails ? Mauritius is such a tiny society. It threw me back to teenage years as well as it got my demons resurfaced as I recall to being poached by a very close family member. It only got me more confused and disturbed amid my messy attempts to dissociate danger from from a supposedly trusting caregiver. I feel for all the girls out there and encourage them to own their actions, eliminate the shame and to not hesitate to talk about it.
It is inherently hard to be hopeful when the various safety nets and protection mechanisms are also shaped by Mauritian misogyny and hypocrisy. There are no redeeming features from our educational and cultural upbringing either. We need to start from scratch.